The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
