just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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