It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
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Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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