I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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