K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
