He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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