There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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