Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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