yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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