just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
