Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she peed on how many people?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
