And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Randomize
