OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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