Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
We got so high we made milksteak
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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