if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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