my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
