Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
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