Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize