Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
