we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
