I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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