dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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