I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
