I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
