he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
