i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
