Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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