Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
