He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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