I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
now i know why i became what i already was.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Randomize
