Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
