I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
