So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
