Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize