I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
