and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
