wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
