so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
