i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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