I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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