i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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