saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
