just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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