He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
