Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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