hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
