No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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