Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
