We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
