i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I smell stomach acid.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
