then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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