her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
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Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
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she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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