OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
