I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
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there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.