Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!