i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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