omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.