i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
