oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
