Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
