you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
