What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
