I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
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Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
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What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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