You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
