Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
