she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
