I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
