Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
