you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
