he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
